literally the best part
i live iin an envelope btw.
they sealed up the envelope while i was inside and i live here now.
theyre mailing me to some location
I admit to having plenty of faults. I’m an imperfect person. But at least I don’t say “whoa what kinda drugs were they on when they made this?” when I see something with the slightest hint of surrealism
catholic emperors would name themselves "pope innocent" "pope clement" "pope never did anything wrong" "pope tiny little baby" "pope good guy" and then commit atrocities
#pope just a little guy it’s also my birthday i’m a little birthday boy. the third (via lakevida)
In order to truly understand America, you must go to a Spirit Halloween set up inside of the closed-down ChuckE Cheese’s
What the fuck is five nights at freddys I’m going to kill all of you
This is honest to god the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life
This 1️⃣ goes out to all the horny 💏 couples out there who are thinking 🤔 of getting rowdy 🔞 this 💌Valentines💮 day evening: 👍 👎DO ❌️ NOT👍 👎 If you do your child 🧒 will be born 👏 a ♏SCORPIO♏
Now, why ❓️ don’t ❌️ we like Scorpio's♏?
For starters, “Scorpio” has 7️⃣ letters 🔠. 7️⃣ letters 🔠: 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins ✝️ 🙅♀ Now, what are the 7️⃣ deadly ☠️ sins? Wrath, Sloth, Gluttony, Envy 👏👏 Envy is associated with the color GREEN 💚 What else is green 💚? Marijuana. Just 1️⃣ more pothead in the world 🗺️. LAME.
Now where is pot 🍲 legal? Canada 🇨🇦, Washington, Colorado, Oregon, Alaska, airplane ✈️ bathrooms if the pilot’s 👨✈️ chill. And where can 🥫 planes ✈️ take you? California 🕶. And what’s on California’s state flag 🚩? A BEAR 🐻. Your child 🧒. Is gay 👨❤️👨.
The execution is like slam poetry but the content is clearly a shitpost and that’s def the most powerful combination I’ve encountered in a while